No, you'll never be alone. When darkness comes you'll know I'm never far, hear the whispers in the dark.
If you know Skillet, then you are very familiar with these words. It is very powerful musically, is the live opener, and it a song to those who feel alone and broken. The lyrics to this song inspired my username on most of my online haunts, and cause me to rock out to these at concerts. In fact, I'm pretty sure that half of the blame of my still-sore-from-Ichthus neck can be blamed on it. "Whispers in the Dark" is an incredible song that has been very important to me these past two years, and has kept me from becoming a person that I never wanted to become.
In these past two years, there have been many changes in my life. For starters, I moved to a new state (again), which in turn meant leaving my best friend behind. I'm sure that you can imagine how tough that would be. Previously, I had close friends that I trusted, but they were never close enough to feel like a sister. I realized how lonely I had been after we got so close, and I didn't want to leave that bond of friendship that I finally had. For what seemed like the first time in my life, I had someone that I could share secrets, pains, and memories both good and bad with. For the first time, I had someone who "got" all of my idiosyncracies. For the first time, I had to leave this person. Despite how close we were (and still are), because she had never moved anywhere outside of the town she was born in, I didn't feel like I could share how much knowledge of this move hurt. I knew about the impending move half a year before it actually happened, so I decided to put on a facade. The entire time, the pain, hurt, and sadness was building up. He is the source of the "Whispers in the dark" that comfort us and heal us.
I felt so alone, and therefore unloved.
Eventually, the time came that I actually moved. The stress and agony was taking its toll, and I felt depressed. As we pulled onto the interstate and I looked at my now former home one last time, I vowed that I would never be close to anyone again. Why should I bother if that person was just going to move again? I hated my life so much at that point. I couldn't help but ask questions. Why did I have to move? Would I ever have close friends? I didn't sleep well for a while.
We got to the area where we live now and stayed in guest lodging while we found our house. While my parents were out house hunting one evening, I was in the room all my myself. I had nothing do do except to read and listen to music. I read a bit, but, as often happens, I got bored. This left the music, naturally. Nothing on my iPod was standing out to listen to, so I put on Skillet. If all else fails, I can always listen to some Skillet. I went to the Comatose CD and just started playing it. I stared off into space through all of Rebirthing, but I decided that I wanted to listen to Whispers in the Dark. I'm glad that I was alone when I listened to that, because I started crying. In case you don't know, the first line is "Despite the lies that you're making, your love is mine for the taking."
I had been lying to myself. Though it felt like I had no one else to talk to besides my friend, I had been missing God when he said "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest," in the book of Matthew (11:28). Despite these lies, as the song goes, my love was still his for the taking. I felt unloved, but feelings lie most of the time. It was wrong for me to feel like I was unloved, because my Lord saved me, thereby loving me more than any human relationship could. When we focus ourselves on the things of this world, we take our focus off of God. Only He should be the one that we run to, and only he should be the one to guide us. Because his love is the "burning consuming fire," it demands all of us. When we feel "lonely and ragged" and "lay here broken and naked," only He can heal us.
I'm sure that God was speaking to me through that song. It told me that I was not alone, and that I was loved. I had been ignoring God when I felt that I had no one to talk to, because God is always there, and listens to my prayers. To me, that song had incredible timing. My emotions by the time I listened to this had run dry, and cutting was looking very appealing. I knew that I didn't want to, but even pain would have felt better than nothing. I prayed to the Lord for renewal of faith in Him, then renounced my vow to never make friends. I've still had trouble, and I've still felt alone, most recently at the one year anniversary of my move (which I believe to be no coincidence), but I have been renewed, and I am making good, solid, Godly friendships. Because of God working through this song, my faith has been renewed, and I know that I will never be alone, no matter what the evils of this world try to tell me. Though I may still get sad and depressed feeling, I know one thing:
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses.
