Think About This

So I've been on hiatus for a bit here. I went on vacation the other week and have been swamped between work and trying to get stuff ready to pack for the move back to college. I apologize for my lack of posting.

That said I will most likely not have a post for this week and plan to start up with it the week of August 22 after classes actually begin.

There is something, however, that I want to get you thinking about. Let me give you a backstory first:

Last year I lived off campus, so I had to reapply and be assigned a room to go back on campus for my final semester. I got into the apartments that I wanted and was placed in a great location(bottom of the building and the hill). Like so many others getting new roommates I have been emailing both my upcoming roommates to get information and share things about myself. One of these things was my desire to not have guys spending the night. This is something that I do not feel is appropriate for men and women to be sleeping in the other room without a locked door separating them. This has caused problems between myself and one roommate. We haven't met yet, but her determination to have guys spend the night(she says her brother and guy friends) against my conviction against it is already causing strife.

I have been struggling for about a month now as to how to work this out so that we can both agree and live together for ~18 weeks. I have offered to set up places for her friends/brother to stay with male friends but got a response that I needed to "get over [myself]."

So I want to pose this question to all of you. What are some things that you have strong convictions on? Whether it be a moral conviction or not. Is your conviction stronger than it needs/should be? When dealing with someone who opposes your conviction and is unwilling to respect it how much do you fight for it? Is there a level where the argument and your attitude becomes a wall that doesn't allow God's glory to shine from you?

Especially for those starting college now, I strongly urge you to think about these things. You may have roommates, classmates, or even friends who do not respect your beliefs and will mock you for them. You may get into a disagreement on your convictions of what is moral(particularly things relating to sex) in which you must struggle between being a light and sticking to your principles. You can't force others to live morally, but you also need to feel safe and secure in your own room.

I had this same issue a couple of years ago with a roommate who wanted her boyfriend spending the night every other weekend. After several weeks of disagreements, attempts to come to an agreement, involvement of the RA and Staff Resident, and strife in the apartment she was moved to another one with people who shared her viewpoint.

Last year I moved off campus and had three roommates. Everyone had their own rooms with locks. One roommate graduated in Dec. and needed to find a subleaser. She found a guy wanting to sublease and checked him out before bringing him by. In the end because the subleaser would be a guy the rest of us had to OK him moving in with us. My other two roommates had no problems with it. I, however, held reservations. After much debate and conscious thought  I decided to OK it as well mostly because this girl desperately needed someone to rent the room as she didn't have a job yet and wasn't even living there. We had locks on the door and privacy in our own rooms. In the end he was rarely there and it was more like having two female roommates instead of two female and one male roommate.

As opposed to two years ago when I had the same type situation as now, I am more likely to seek a compromise with my roommate. I will not ignore my convictions; I am simply rethinking them and searching for the point that I become a legalist, imposing my morals on another (who is NOT a believer) vs. being a reflection of God's love.

Does this mean that I to allow her to have guys spend the night I will need to find somewhere else to sleep every single time? No. Does this mean that I let her have guys spend the night on a moment's notice whenever she wants? No. What it means is discussing with her as the adults we should be about how we can respect each other and determine where each of us can give some ground. For instance, I am willing to let her have one guy spend the night one weekend a month, no overnight visitors during the week so long as he does not go into the bedroom after a certain time. It would also mean that she would have to plan ahead of time for him to come and tell myself and our other roommate prior to his arrival. There is nothing worse than an unexpected overnight guest(without extreme circumstances).

The one thing I will not compromise on no matter what is sex in the apartment. If she had her own room it would not affect me, and I wouldn't care. But we all have the same bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and living room. As my roommates last year and I agreed on: What happens in your own room is your business. If it spills out into community living space it's everyone's business.

Alive by P.O.D.

I've been meaning to get to this song for awhile. P.O.D. was one of the bands that I listened to a lot when I was younger. In seventh grade we had to do two devotions a year in my Bible class. The first one I did was on this song "Alive" by P.O.D. I did all the research on the meaning and everything before I went into it. The second song I did was "Rippin' Me Off" by Skillet. My teacher after both of them said that I would most likely not live to see my 16th birthday because I would probably kill myself first due to the "heavy" music I listened to. I don't know about you, but a song about feeling alive and being thankful for every single day you have on this earth is not one that promotes suicide.

The meaning I see behind this song is someone who has finally found God. Someone who's finally become a believer. lines like "Now that I see you, I can never look away." Now that he's found God, he can't turn away from that and has hope for the future. He's on this total high. Just think about this

"And now that I know you
I could never turn my back away
And now that I see you
I could never look away
And now that I know you
I could never turn my back away
And now that I see you
I'll believe no matter what they say"

Definitely speaks to me that he's talking to God saying that now that I truly know you I'm yours and I'm not turning away from you. I won't deny you or be ashamed of you.

The lead singer, Sonny Sandoval said that it's a song about not taking anything for granted and living every day to the fullest as if it's your last. He said it's about a guy who realizes that there is a God and something more to live for causing him to see everything different and live his life to the fullest.

I've heard the question before, "What would you do if you knew you were going to die tomorrow?" Most people answer with things like travel, do some crazy stunt, or commit a crime (usually as some sort of revenge). What would you do? Today very well could be your last day; you don't know. Would you continue living like you are, or change something? If you would change something, then you aren't living life to the fullest.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't say that you'd go on some big trip. You may not be able to afford said trip currently. I'm talking about how you actually live. If you were going to die tomorrow would you be going around mending relationships? loving your family more? spending more time serving? If you answer to those questions is "yes," then maybe you need to find ways to do that now.

It's easier said than done, I know. I don't always love my family as much as I can. I certainly don't help out around the house as much as I could when I'm home. I haven't done as much service as I've wanted to lately, really not since I left my old church. I haven't asked the questions I've wanted to ask, haven't built up as strong of relationships as I could, etc.

I need to work on this, and if you're like me then you do too. Just think about what you were like that first day you became a Christian. If you were older, then you might remember it quite well. Was there a difference in your output at that moment? Did you feel any different? Or if you've ever gone to church camp do you remember all those promises you made during the week that you never kept? What would it be like to actually do those things? Or at least make a strong effort to do so.

Here's a challenge. Think of one thing that you can work on over the course of the next week. Really try to do it. I'd love to hear back what some people attempt and how they went about doing so. I'd also like to hear about whether or not you succeeded in your attempts. Even the attempt should be some encouragement than not trying at all.

Week #21 Alive by P.O.D.

Alive
by P.O.D.
Everyday is a new day
I'm thankful for every breath I take
I won't take it for granted
So I learn from my mistakes
It's beyond my control, sometimes it's best to let go
Whatever happens in this lifetime
So I trust in love
You have given me peace of mind

[Chorus]
I feel so alive for the very first time
I can't deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive for the very first time 
And I think I can fly

Sunshine upon my face
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world how I feel inside
Even though it might cost me everything
Now that I know this, so beyond, I can't hold this
I can never turn my back away
Now that I've seen you
I can never look away

[Chorus]

Now that I know you (I could never turn my back away)
Now that I see you (I could never look away)
Now that I know you (I could never turn my back away)
Now that I see you (I believe no matter what they say)

[Chorus x 2]

Whispers in the Dark by Skillet (post by Far From Alone)

No, you'll never be alone. When darkness comes you'll know I'm never far, hear the whispers in the dark.

If you know Skillet, then you are very familiar with these words. It is very powerful musically, is the live opener, and it a song to those who feel alone and broken. The lyrics to this song inspired my username on most of my online haunts, and cause me to rock out to these at concerts. In fact, I'm pretty sure that half of the blame of my still-sore-from-Ichthus neck can be blamed on it. "Whispers in the Dark" is an incredible song that has been very important to me these past two years, and has kept me from becoming a person that I never wanted to become. 

In these past two years, there have been many changes in my life. For starters, I moved to a new state (again), which in turn meant leaving my best friend behind. I'm sure that you can imagine how tough that would be. Previously, I had close friends that I trusted, but they were never close enough to feel like a sister. I realized how lonely I had been after we got so close, and I didn't want to leave that bond of friendship that I finally had. For what seemed like the first time in my life, I had someone that I could share secrets, pains, and memories both good and bad with. For the first time, I had someone who "got" all of my idiosyncracies. For the first time, I had to leave this person. Despite how close we were (and still are), because she had never moved anywhere outside of the town she was born in, I didn't feel like I could share how much knowledge of this move hurt. I knew about the impending move half a year before it actually happened, so I decided to put on a facade. The entire time, the pain, hurt, and sadness was building up. He is the source of the "Whispers in the dark" that comfort us and heal us.

I felt so alone, and therefore unloved.

Eventually, the time came that I actually moved. The stress and agony was taking its toll, and I felt depressed. As we pulled onto the interstate and I looked at my now former home one last time, I vowed that I would never be close to anyone again. Why should I bother if that person was just going to move again? I hated my life so much at that point. I couldn't help but ask questions. Why did I have to move? Would I ever have close friends? I didn't sleep well for a while.

We got to the area where we live now and stayed in guest lodging while we found our house. While my parents were out house hunting one evening, I was in the room all my myself. I had nothing do do except to read and listen to music. I read a bit, but, as often happens, I got bored. This left the music, naturally. Nothing on my iPod was standing out to listen to, so I put on Skillet. If all else fails, I can always listen to some Skillet. I went to the Comatose CD and just started playing it. I stared off into space through all of Rebirthing, but I decided that I wanted to listen to Whispers in the Dark. I'm glad that I was alone when I listened to that, because I started crying. In case you don't know, the first line is "Despite the lies that you're making, your love is mine for the taking." 

I had been lying to myself. Though it felt like I had no one else to talk to besides my friend, I had been missing God when he said "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest," in the book of Matthew (11:28). Despite these lies, as the song goes, my love was still his for the taking. I felt unloved, but feelings lie most of the time. It was wrong for me to feel like I was unloved, because my Lord saved me, thereby loving me more than any human relationship could. When we focus ourselves on the things of this world, we take our focus off of God. Only He should be the one that we run to, and only he should be the one to guide us. Because his love is the "burning consuming fire," it demands all of us. When we feel "lonely and ragged" and "lay here broken and naked," only He can heal us.

I'm sure that God was speaking to me through that song. It told me that I was not alone, and that I was loved. I had been ignoring God when I felt that I had no one to talk to, because God is always there, and listens to my prayers. To me, that song had incredible timing. My emotions by the time I listened to this had run dry, and cutting was looking very appealing. I knew that I didn't want to, but even pain would have felt better than nothing. I prayed to the Lord for renewal of faith in Him, then renounced my vow to never make friends. I've still had trouble, and I've still felt alone, most recently at the one year anniversary of my move (which I believe to be no coincidence), but I have been renewed, and I am making good, solid, Godly friendships. Because of God working through this song, my faith has been renewed, and I know that I will never be alone, no matter what the evils of this world try to tell me. Though I may still get sad and depressed feeling, I know one thing:

My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses.

Week #20 Whispers in the Dark by Skillet

Whispers in the Dark

by Skillet

(Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses)

Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses

I will be the one that's gonna hold you
I will be the one that you run to
My love is a burning, consuming fire

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
You know I'm never far
Hear my whispers in the dark
(whispers in the dark)

You feel so lonely and ragged
You lay here broken and naked
My love is just waiting
To clothe you in crimson roses

I will be the one that's gonna find you
I will be the one that's gonna guide you
My love is a burning, consuming fire

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark

No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
You know I'm never far
Hear my whispers in the dark (x2)

(whispers in the dark)
(whispers in the dark)
(whispers in the dark) 

Rewind by Pillar

This song to me is one of regret. There are a few ways that I look at it. One is a person talking to God about running away from Him, which is obvious to me. The other way is a person talking to another person like a parent or mentor who has been involved in their life all while this person was destroying themselves in front of them and doing things to hurt their parent or mentor.

I see both of those because I fit both of them. I want to start with the second thing I see as that was what the song touched in me when I was younger. When I was younger, I struggled with clinical depression. I was also the kind of person who was far too proud to ask for help. I was an angry, hurt, overly-critical perfectionist who pushed away anyone who got close enough to help me. As I was growing up and started to actually receive help, I noticed it and was saddened by how many relationships were destroyed simply because I was too proud to let anyone into my world. The way I treated my parents was especially sad because no matter how much I pushed them away or ignored them or whatever, they kept trying and never gave up. Out of everyone that has come and gone in my life, my parents have been there offering advice whether I asked for it or not. They'd criticize when they thought it'd help or do whatever was in their power to help raise myself and my sisters. All the while we treated them like garbage when we were angry and tried to push them out of our lives. So yes, if I could rewind, I'd take it all back and be more open with them and do my best to let them into my life more.

More importantly is the thing I read into this song(and what I think the song is truly about) is a person talking to God. My life this past year has been amazing. It was like nothing that happened was so life altering to me that my whole world came crashing down like they used to. I had amazing friends, got involved in a great church with great community, finally joined a campus ministry that I love and feel like I belong in. My family was doing well, academics were going well enough, my roommates and I got along and never fought about anything. We had our altercations, but nothing like I had experienced the year before with one particular roommate. The negatives that did happen, didn't even appear so bad anymore.

Now why would I even mention this? Well because this definitely wasn't the case even a few years ago. It used to be that even the small things would drive me crazy and I would just get depressed or angry. I'd push everyone away, and I mean everyone especially God. I was a Christian, but I didn't act like one at all. I doubted God at every turn. I doubted His love and therefore stopped showing love to others. I blamed Him for the negatives in my life and actually believed that there was no way out of the messes I was in.

Hindsight is an amazing thing. Looking back I can see those times that I not only pushed other people away, but pushed God as far away as possible. I see the times where I struggled with things and actually put relationships with certain people in front of God. The point where those relationships became idols. I see how He broke up those relationships in sometimes simple falling outs where we went our separate ways, or, as with the more intensely idolized relationships, tore them to shreds in memorable and regrettable events. I remember one of them specifically, which I will not go into detail on. But I remember not too long ago thinking about those events and thinking that if I could go back to when that falling out started how I would change this or that to salvage the relationship. Yesterday I was reflecting on some things and realized something different. If I could go back to when that relationship died, I probably wouldn't changed anything, but if I did, I would have preferred to go back further in the relationship and not let it become an idol. I would have told myself to get out before I let it get that far. God used that chaos to teach me a lesson that He was the only one that I needed to depend on fully. That my relationship with Him is and will be the most important one in my entire life. Am I sad that I pushed Him away and scorned Him and put up idols before Him? Yes. Would I change anything? No.

It's actually pretty simple. God has taught me so many different things through all of my failures with Him and people and other areas of life. So why would I want to rewind and change those so that I don't learn those lessons? Every single thing that I have done be it good or bad and how I have handled those things have made me into who I am today. They all have taught me different things about who I am, who God is, and why I can't do this on my own.

Is there anything I'd do if I could rewind? I'd just notice more and more how much God's hand has been involved in my life leading me to where I am and how He's still leading me to where I will go.

Week #19 Rewind by Pillar

Rewind
by Pillar


It seems just like yesterday was the first time that I heard You call my name
Since then, so much has changed
I'm still the same man that I was before

Knowing that I can be without anything scares me away from being alone
Now, that I know what's going on
I can look back and see You
And I made You wait, as I turned away

Chorus
If I could rewind, watch all my life
Just pass me by, I could see You
If I could rewind, I'd take back the lies
And all of those times I hurt You

I don't know if I'll ever know exactly how much that I hurt You
Knowing that hurts me everyday
If I could rewind, I would take it away
And not make You wait, and I won't walk away

Chorus

I wanna take back all those lies
I wanna take back all those times
I wanna show You with my life that I'm here for You

Chorus 

Lucy by Skillet (post by 4given4ever)

This is a post submitted by 4given4ever about the song "Lucy" by Skillet.

The entire song of Lucy are words directly from my dad. He's in prison and has an outrageously long sentence. We aren't allowed contact thru letters or anything else anymore, but I believe that this song has broken that barrier and comes directly from him. My old nickname that only he used was Lucy which makes me certain this is a Godsend from my dad. Besides the line, I left a dozen roses on your grave today, the words give me hope of a future reunion with him. My favorite lines in the bridge: 

Here we are, now you're in my arms,
I never wanted anything so bad.
Here we are for a brand new start,
 living the life that we could've had.
Me and Lucy walking hand in hand,
Me and Lucy never wanna end! 

They fill me with emotion every time I hear them. It gives me so much hope that we'll see each other again and even if not on this Earth, then in Heaven, where we never say goodbye! I know this isn't the intended meaning that John wrote the song for, but it doesn't matter, because my dad wrote this song. I feel so blessed to be able to receive this from him, and I thank God for breaking thru the 'no-contact' barrier in such an amazing and special way to me. I hope I can thank John someday for creating the most meaningful song Skillet has ever produced, and I actually didn't start thinking of it like this until recently and once I discovered the true meaning....wow. I was just blown away. I ask God everyday why my dad had to leave, he's such a good man in every way, and while this song doesn't tell me why, it gives me hope. It doesn't focus on the painful past and explaining everything, it makes me look towards the future. Which I can see now was God's plan all along. 

Week #18 Lucy by Skillet

Lucy
by Skillet


Hey Lucy, I remember your name
I left a dozen roses on your grave today
I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away
I just came to talk for a while, got some things I need to say

Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of Heaven looking back at me

Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today

Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday
They said it'd bring some closure to say your name
I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance
But all I got are these roses to give
And they can't help me make amends

Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of Heaven looking back at me

Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/skillet-lyrics/lucy-lyrics.html]

Here we are, now you're in my arms
I never wanted anything so bad
Here we are for a brand new start
Living the life that we could've had

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
Just another moment in your eyes
I'll see you in another life in Heaven
Where we never say goodbye

Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of Heaven looking back at me

Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today

Here we are, now you're in my arms
Here we are for a brand new start
I got to live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
I've got to live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today

Hey Lucy, I remember your name

Sea of Faces by Kutless

This is a song I wasn't sure when I would use it, but knew I wanted to at some point. This is one where I think it'll best be told by just taking sections and discussing them.

Take the first verse for instance. "I see the city lights all around me/ Everyone's obscure/ Ten million people each with their problems/ Why should anyone care" Just those last two lines say it all. There are about 7 billion people estimated to be living in this world today. In my own city there are approximately 2,779,939 people in the city/suburb I live and work in, the 15th largest urban area in the United States. So why should anyone care about anyone? Why should God care about me? or you? or any single one of us? He doesn't have to at all.

What about the second verse? "Sometimes my life it feels so trivial/ Immersed in the greatness of space/ Yet somehow You still find the time for me/ It's then You show me Your love" You've probably heard someone say that our lives are just a moment in time. We're all just "dust in the wind." That's true. In the whole history of the world our individual lives are trivial and just one moment in the entirety of time. At least to human thought. But it makes you think again... Why did God choose me? 

Well think about the chorus: "I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world/ Lost in a Sea of Faces/ Your body's the brea, Your blood is the wine/ Because you traded your life for mine"

Or the bridge: "If only my one heart/ Was all you'd gain from all it cost/ Well I know you would have still been a man/ With a reason/ To willingly offer your life"

In the whole of the song those just blow me away. My life is trivial. God doesn't HAVE to care about me. But He sent His son to die for ME, and for YOU. Woah! We have a God who is so powerful, so great, and amazing, and He decided to die just for us? Why is it that we don't seem to get it through our thick skulls how incredible this is?

I remember our campus minister saying many times about verses that in other religions people are told to do something so that their "god" will love them. Christianity is the opposite. It says that we should do something because God already loves us. Let me ask you, what did you do to earn favor with God? I know my answer: nothing. He did it for me. I didn't earn His favor in the first place.

In church last summer the pastor was talking about Jesus' role as a mediator. He talked about how so many times we hear it taught that Jesus is interceding by asking the Father to have mercy on us and how wrong that is. His illustration was that of a lawyer and God as being just. He painted a picture of a courtroom with us as the defendant with the judge being the one we wronged. He doesn't have to show us mercy if he doesn't want to. God doesn't have to do anything. If we were to plead our case before God, we would lose and be sentenced to eternity in hell. However, we have a lawyer, Jesus, who is pleading our case. He said that instead of asking God to have mercy on us, he instead is probably reminding God that he, Jesus, has already served our sentence for us. The pastor said that Jesus is most likely asking God to be just as He already is and to be certain that justice is served. That justice would mean not punishing us because Jesus, our lawyer, has already served our sentence as our substitute.

It's such an amazing thought to think about how I am one person in this world, who will most likely do nothing that gets me remembered in history. I don't intend to be president or invent some insane thing that's going to change the world. Most likely I won't do anything that makes a lasting impression on mankind. So why would God send Jesus to die for me of all people? Why would He send Him to die for you?

I was talking with a friend of mine just as exams were ending, and he made a statement about some things in my life and things I've gone through. He said something to the extent of God used a lot of effort to get my attention, so I had better be worth it and make a huge difference. I'll admit I was a huge skeptic even though I grew up in the church and turned away so many times. It took a lot of ups and massive downs (some that I'm not willing to even admit to) in order to get my attention. The second part of what he said is the part that I know I won't be (at least from my perspective). I won't make a huge difference and therefore probably won't be worth it. But isn't that how flawed my perspective is? To God I was and am worth it. We all are worth it. He wants so much to be with us and for us to love Him that He considered us worth dying for. Do we have to go out and change the world? No. We can't do that by ourselves. Do we have to go into organized ministry? No. Do we need to do our best to live for Him and to minister by living the way He wants us to live? Yes. Should we try to make a difference in the lives of the people we meet? Yes. How? I'll let you know exactly how when I figure that one out.

Just remember that although you're only one in about 7 billion faces in this world, you were chosen, and Jesus died so that YOU could be His.

Week #17 Sea of Faces by Kutless

Sea of Faces
by Kutless
I see the city lights all around me
Everyone's obscure
Ten million people each with their problems
Why should anyone care

And in Your eyes I can see
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

Sometimes my life it feels so trivial
Immersed in the greatness of space
Yet somehow you still find the time for me
It's then You show me Your love

And In Your eyes I can see
And in Your arms I will be
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

If only my one heart
Was all you'd gain from all it cost
Well I know you would have still been a man
With a reason
To willingly offer your life

I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

Just one in a million faces 

Best is Yet to Come by Red

There are plenty of ways to interpret this song. I've heard some say that it's about a dating relationship that breaks up and another about the Second Coming of Christ. Maybe it's because it's that time of year, or maybe it's because the end of my formal education is just over the horizon and a whole new life is waiting on the other side, but I think of it as the end of a major time period in one's life. It doesn't matter whether that time period is middle school, high school, college, a hardship, a life without Christ, life in a particular location, a friendship, whatever.


Life changes all the time. We go through so many different seasons, ups and downs, relationships, losses, etc. that we can't even count them all. Some of these seasons end in overwhelmingly sad times and enter us into hardships. Others end in amazing events and lead us into prosperity. Still others just flow into even more without any major event causing it. I want to take some time to think about some of the major seasons that we all face and the uncertainty of the future in this post.


We're at that time of year when school ends and summer begins. Students all across the country graduate from high school and college. These are times when so many students face uncertainty. Many high school students are going on to college, but some will be going straight to work and are looking for jobs. Those going to college are slightly nervous now, but over the summer will probably grow more and more apprehensive. I graduated from high school in 2007 and began college the following August. I was the only person from my class going to my university, which was 300 miles from home. Like most college students it would be my first time living on my own. It would also be the first time I was in a public school and not a Christian school. I was going to be a Computer Engineer and would be doing Air Force ROTC for which I had a pretty nice scholarship. Other than those things I knew nothing about what it would truly be like. I was excited definitely, but what started as a small knot in my stomach early on grew into a mangled mess by August. I don't make friends very easily, and I had been in school with the same kids since at least 7th grade and many since preschool. I didn't know what churches or religious groups were there. I'd read/heard horror stories about dorm life and roommates. In the end though I had to go, and I'm so glad that I did. I met several great friends and two that I consider extremely close that first semester. My roommate was a Cubs fan, but other than that we got along fine(I'm a huge Cardinals fan). I found a church I liked but left because the teaching was not all biblically solid, but I still found ways to worship and learn thanks to my church back home. All in all it was a great year full of great memories and good times.


Four years later I'm still at that school with one semester to go. I'm not a Computer Engineer, but a Computer Graphics Technology major studying Video Production specifically. I found a home church that I absolutely love. The teaching is solid, the worship is amazing, and the community is caring. Those two close friends I met my first year in ROTC are still close friends of mine, and we've added a few others to the group. Two of my friends are dating, and while I wish they'd be more private in their showing affection they are good for each other. I'm not in ROTC anymore but I'm still looking into military service upon graduation. I found an amazing campus ministry called RUF and the campus minister that we have is absolutely incredible. Over the course of my life I've heard so much teaching on the Bible, but he still has said things about passages that have never occurred to me as well as challenged me to think about various things in my own life. 


But what about those graduating college? I'm not quite there yet, but in December I will be. What I'm currently thinking about and trying to figure out they're having to live out. Find a job, find an apartment, possibly get a "new" car. The job market isn't great right now. Some economists are saying that we won't see unemployment under 8-9% for a long while if ever. Jobs that used to pay fairly well are now paying $10,000-$20,000 less than they did before the recession because so many people are out of work and desperate to have any job. It's a scary world to try to find a job in. No wonder so many students are opting to wait it out and go to grad school or take internships and move back in with their parents.


Something that we all need to think about,  not just these two groups of people, is that we don't need to worry. I'm not saying don't be concerned or don't think about these things. College grads, look hard for jobs, send out resumes, post your portfolio, get those interviews, and if you get a good enough offer for a starter position, take it. What I'm saying is that you don't need to be overly stressed and worried that you can't find a job. When you start worrying try to remember to step back, take a few deep breaths, PRAY, and remember a couple of verses:


Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.


Matthew 6:25-34 (ESV)
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.


Philippians 4:6 (ESV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.


In the end God will take care of us. He may not give us everything we want, but He will provide for us everything we NEED. Pray about it, and continue to work hard towards your goals. But don't go about worrying and stressing out over what, over the course of eternity, is minuscule. It's hard to do, I know, but it's the right thing to do.


If you need to, keep Philippians 4:6 and/or Jeremiah 29:11 written down and posted in a spot that you will see multiple times throughout the day. Do whatever you must to remember them.


In the end remember that no matter what the stresses are today, the best is yet to come.

Week 16 Best is Yet to Come by Red

Best is Yet to Come
by Red


Afraid it won't come round again
Afraid to move on
Wishing I could go back when
Everything was easier and meaningful to me
Wanting all we left behind 
Like its the answer
An hour glass we can't rewind
Holding back the life that I've been at for so long

Can I find my way to you
And After all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
Cause now the past can be outrun
And I know you are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come

A Photograph's still in my hands
Afraid to let it go
The minutes rain like grains of sand
And time is just a war that's stealing dreams from within
So come and take them back again

And After all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
Cause now the past can be outrun
And I know you are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come

I won't turn around
Let it all slip away
I'm never backing down
Cause tomorrow's a new day
And everything can change

And After all that we've been through
And after all we left in pieces
I still believe our lives have just begun
Cause now the past can be outrun
And I know you are the reason
I still believe the best is yet to come

I still believe the best is yet to come
The best is yet to come
I still believe the best is yet to come 

This is a Call by Thousand Foot Krutch

I've had this song on the backburner for awhile now, but after posting my abridged story on Sunday I thought this one would fit this week. This is a pretty mellow song and is much like the song "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace, another good song. I think at some point we all can fit into one of these categories. Both verses describe me to a degree at some point or another in my own life.

I think at times I still fit in with some of the parts of verse one. No my mom doesn't have cancer to which I am very thankful. I'm talking about like fooling friends into thinking I was stronger than I was and acting like everything was all right. I even fooled myself into thinking I was stronger than I was and that I could do it all myself. It took a pastor consistently reminding me that man is not an island and some dark times and temptations for me to come to the realization that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Last week one of the nights included a teaching about how God knocks out our support structures in order to force us to depend on Him and Him alone. The pastor said something that stuck with me. I'll probably get the exact words wrong, so you'll have to forgive me, but I think it went something like this, "Sometimes we go through struggles like Heaven that feel to us like Hell. Heaven loves us enough to want us to change. Hell hopes we never do." I think that in my life when I was depending on myself or even other people God came along and did something radical that to me felt like He was trying to crush and destroy me. I look back on it now and see that in reality He was forcing me to HAVE to depend on Him to get me through those times. He lead me to the edge of my strength and then pushed me over the edge and said, "Trust me."

I want to present a challenge here: Where are you looking for support? Not just in bad times but also in good. Who do you praise when things are going right? Who/What do you cling to when things go wrong? If the answer to any of those is not Jesus then be prepared because your support system will be knocked out from under you someday.

I said I can relate to both verses to a degree. The second verse is a little different in how it relates. I posted a shortened version of my story on Sunday. I'm comfortable posting it, but not so much when people ask personally about it. I remember in a small group one year everyone had to give their testimony at some point during the year. Everyone else gave a similar story: I grew up in a Christian home, I prayed with (insert person here) when I was (insert age under 8 here). End of story. Mine's not like that. I often wished and even still wish at times my testimony was that simple. So that year I lied. Well at least I didn't give my full story. See my testimony starts with that simple beginning, but I didn't really get it at that young age. That faith wasn't mine. My full story included the things I wrote about before. I kept those details out during the small group because I wanted the "boring" story that no one judged you for.

Where it really nails me is stuff like "And he cries, but you'll rarely see him do it/ And he loves, but he's scared to use it/ So he hides behind the music/ 'Cause he likes it that way." I don't cry often, but when I do, I certainly make sure people are not around me to see. You can insult me and make me insanely depressed, but I won't cry in front of you. I might get angry because I'm trying to push down the hurt. Last week I was talking with my campus minister and he innocently had forgotten about my friend who committed suicide. He asked a couple of questions and I kinda answered like I didn't care, but later that evening I was standing alone on the beach while others in my group were closer to the water singing songs. I just knelt down in the sand, grabbed a handful and let a few tears slip. It was dark, so no one could see. When one of the guys in the group started walking closer, I quickly wiped my eyes and put up my facade.

Love... now that's a loaded word. Every time I get off the phone with my mom she says, "I love you." I always respond with, "Yeah, sure, bye." I don't remember the last time I told someone I loved them. I show that I care about and love people by what I do for them or by wanting to spend time with them, but I can't get the words out of my mouth without sarcasm. It's probably my biggest weakness and something that I need to work on.

Overall what I've been seeing is something that we all need to see. Our lives (especially if you're a teen or young adult) seem to be trying to fit in and play a part. We're actors on a stage. We're trying to look like we have it together, but we've crashed in a ravine and can't get out. I like the line, "And I'm losing all control now/ And my hazard signs are all out" I get this image of driving down a highway and a car doesn't have the hazard lights on and it's night. Other cars crash into this car because they couldn't see it. We're all those cars. We're all crashing into each other. We can't save ourselves, and we can't save each other. We can lend a hand to help, but in the end all of us need to call on Jesus to get us out of the mess and get us back on the right track.

Personally, I'm sick of pretending that I have it together when I'm one of the most sinful, messed up people on this earth. I'm not worthy to be teaching you anything from my life. I'm not capable of speaking the truth without help. Can we get on the same page here and agree that we're going to do life together and help each other all the while pointing to the One who is truly in charge?